The Father and the Son seek each one of us. Patient and ever-forward, they hunt for us as the father and son in this painting hunt for their quarry.
"I never had the experience of looking for God. It was the other way round; He was the hunter (or so it seemed to me) and I was the deer. He stalked me... took unerring aim, and fired." -Lewis
This is the first painting that I have done in a while. It had been in the works since early spring. It is an homage Andrew Wyeth.
Monday, November 2, 2015
Christian Outlier Culture At Large: Interviews with Fellows
PROLEGOMENA
I was speaking to a pastor friend about a book on
post-modernism. “Take it with a grain of salt,” he said, “Every academic book
I’ve read on Christianity and post-modernism has been written by modernists
looking in, not a person involved in it themselves.” In my research for this
paper, I have found this to be basically true. Treatises written upon the
post-modern, post-evangelical sub-culture of Christianity largely come from
without. They are often biased toward the author’s personal conviction and religious
thought, the subtext of which betrays their fear and reproach of
post-modernity. As such, I have taken it upon myself to conduct several interviews
with post-modern, post-evangelical millennial Christians, hereinafter referred
to as outliers. They are my fellows, my cohorts, for I too am an outlier.
This paper serves as a sketch of
this complex sub-culture of Christianity, written to those interested parties
in the evangelical expression of the faith. This paper uses large swaths of
material from my interviews, much of it personal experience and wisdom learned.
This method has been chosen to better explain the life and worldview of the
outlier and to understand their common background, their social structure and
the difficulties faced in ministry to outliers. The purpose of this paper will
be accomplished by utilizing the words and experiences of fellow outliers to understand
their foremost values, beliefs, and assumptions. It will also shed light on the
evangelical topics of concern that revolve around the faith of younger
generations.
THE OUTLIER NARRATIVE
Structure & Background
The most basic descriptor of an outlier is a person
who has chosen to walk away from the evangelical expression of Christianity. Outliers
are post-evangelicals. David Kinnaman lays out three sub-categories of
post-evangelicals in his book, You Lost Me.
“Nomads walk away from church engagement but still consider themselves
Christians… Exiles are still
invested in their Christian faith but feel stuck (or lost) between culture and
the church… Prodigals [have
lost] their faith, describing themselves as ‘no longer Christian’”[1]
According to Preston Sprinkle, it is this last group,
those who no longer affiliate with Jesus, which is the smallest of the three. “This
means that most people who leave the church haven’t left Jesus. They’ve simply
left the church. They’ve left institutional Christianity.”[2]
Outliers include people who have left Christianity entirely, but more often,
outliers are people who still identify as Christians. The overarching ideals of
post-evangelicalism still lay within the faith; its people are still a part of
the Church Universal. As such, the social structure of the community of
outliers is a cellular structure, as with any local contemporary church: many smaller
groups making up a whole. Most often these “cells” are found in and around
places with much evangelicalism and mainstream Christianity. Raul, a fellow
outlier, sheds light on how and why these small groups congregate. “Identifying
oneself as an outlier allows you to find other outliers—to identify and connect
with other people who feel dissonance of some kind between themselves and the
mainstream faith—and find some comfort/camaraderie and support from their
presence and affirmation.”[3]
The internal social structure of each cell typically begins in Raul’s
experience of dissonance with the mainstream expression of faith. Further,
outliers commonly begin with the assumption of egalitarian values and believe
in interconnection and forming deep relationships. Interviewee Leah concurs
with this assessment.
Outliers are
groups of people who gain community and understanding, despite differing views
and opinions, in favor of a raw relationships that gratify and heal. We
outliers glorify God through relationships and in serving one another. We're
extremely open minded. We know that we will never have life 100% figured out,
but we will never stop pursuing understanding and growth.[4]
One of the most common stories I
have heard in my interviews has to do with why and how outliers are formed.
They share a common background of negative experiences resulting from their
time in evangelicalism.[5]
In my interview with Sam, I was told a story from his adolescence that left an
indelible impression on his view of evangelicalism.
When I was
in youth group, I was confided in by a friend who had been forced to perform
sexual acts by another, older youth group member. My first reaction was to tell
the truth. I sounded the alarm. But the problem was the guy who was accused,
and ultimately found guilty in court, was on the worship band and very popular.
It caused a schism in the church, people left. The church was never the same.
But I chose to stay, maybe just to see what would happen next. I was vilified. People
looked at me as if I had betrayed them—betrayed them by telling the truth and
sticking up for a fourteen-year-old girl who had been assaulted. [6]
It was this experience that caused him to begin to identify
as an outlier: someone not welcome in the mainstream faith. Many are the
stories I have heard like Sam’s. My story is similar, also involving sexual
misconduct, pastoral toxicity and church division during my late adolescence.
The unfortunate reality is that many evangelical adolescents have a shared
history of being audience to or (worse yet) actually experiencing abuses in
church. But things are not always so dire, as interviewee Jim states.
Suffering
"abuse" is much too harsh a way to describe my experience.
Largely, my active experience with the Church has been positive. Rather,
over time, I have felt a growing disconnect inside of me. I am left
feeling like I don't fit or that I'm the wrong kind of person. What begins as
an internal questioning continues to grow into an internal dissonance.
Eventually, it becomes difficult or impossible to reconcile how I think
and feel with how everyone else appears to think and feel. A salvation of works
is bad (right?). But, in a works-based salvation, I can do the work
required. More damnable is right-beliefs-based salvation. How can I
make myself believe something I don't? For all the world, I cannot
believe that I have eleven fingers. For heaven's sake (literally) I
cannot make myself believe something that I do not.[7]
The gulf between an internal dissonance of
ideologies and criminal victimization is certainly vast. But strangely, each
end of the spectrum yields similar results: people leave, turn cynical and feel
deeply hurt. Whether their hurt is from their own internal dissonance or the experience
of abuse, each person’s suffering is a relative thing. Viktor Frankl states:
To draw an
analogy: a man's suffering is similar to the behavior of a gas. If a certain
quantity of gas is pumped into an empty chamber, it will fill the chamber
completely and evenly, no matter how big the chamber. Thus suffering completely
fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is
great or little. Therefore the "size" of human suffering is
absolutely relative.[8]
In their hurt, outliers see an obvious disconnect
between the church and Jesus. “They sense that the established church has
internalized many of ‘Babylon’s’ values of consumerism, hyperindividualism, and
moral compromise instead of living in-but-not-of as kingdom exiles.”[9] And all of this is experienced during the crucial periods of childhood
and adolescence. It should be no wonder that a majority of millennials are
leaving the evangelical expression of Christianity. It is in this exodus that people have found
freedom to express their faith in Christ as their true selves. Jim explains his
outlook on how he lives out his faith post-evangelically.
Humans,
whenever possible, choose not to live in pain. Most of the time this
presents itself in one of two ways 1) remove the object causing the pain, or 2)
become dead to the pain. In my circumstance, I couldn't quite bring
myself to 1) deny the spiritual existence of man, or 2) live in existential
ennui. What if there is a third way? What if the life of the
Christian is not defined by right orthodoxy? What if questions need not
be answered? I hope to live as required: To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with my God. Though I now walk an uncertain path -
wide or narrow, I don't know - like Jacob, I walk with a limp.[10]
It is not too farfetched to say
that Jim’s statement could be the rallying cry of the many disenchanted young
Christians in our country.
Concern: Relativism or Authentic Faith?
One concern of evangelicals is relativism: the
belief that there is no absolute truth. This is a label often ascribed to the outlier
by older generations of Christians. But this idea is not necessarily obliged,
as Raul confirms:
I do not
subscribe to the idea of relativism or "no absolutes", but … I'm not
very certain about what all the absolute truths are, and even when I feel
pretty certain I try to keep a corner of my mind open to the possibility that I
could be proven wrong. [11]
Evangelicals may think it shocking to learn younger
Christians acquiesce to the idea of absolute truth, but to the outlier this is
the only reasonable conclusion. Relativism collapses under the weight of its
own circular logic. Rather, outliers are often described as relativists because
of the way they approach absolute truth. Raul continues:
I find
much more resonance in the idea of humility in belief and openness to new
evidence. I believe in "absolutes", but I think they are difficult to
find for certain, and that we must be always questioning and seeking new inputs
to our thought processes that can give us a firmer grasp on what truth is
available to be known.[12]
He argues that objectivity can actually allow for
greater access to truth, if it is always seeking to refine itself in a deeper
understanding of ideas. Another interviewee, Ellen, argues that the value of truth
is not always as prevalent in evangelical circles as it may first appear.
In the
Evangelical churches I have previously attended, doubt and questions and true
honesty were only acceptable when attached to resolution, or a past tense
struggle. Whereas, as an outlier, I feel no need to temper my past and current
experiences and somehow make them more G-rated. I can confront God and faith
more holistically.[13]
In Brad Jersak’s, A More Christlike God, the author concurs
with Ellen’s assessment and regards the mature faith as one that reflects both
on scripture and people’s experiences to come closer to Christ.[14]
The outlier, then, has trouble not with absolute truth as found in Scripture,
but rather with the idea that the truths can be applied with ease to every
individual experience. Moreover, the process of application often becomes dogmatic.
Raul discusses this issue:
I
recognize the difference between moral absolutes and pragmatic implementation.
It's much easier for me to feel certain, or sometimes even dogmatic, about a
moral or spiritual principle, than to judge the rightness or wrongness of a
policy or practice. Principles are the goal: policies are the method. Too many
Christians ascribe moral absoluteness to the policies they've chosen in pursuit
of their values, and some even go further into confusing the policy with the
principle. One of the things that alienates me from much of mainstream
Christianity is the all-too-frequent glorification of a policy to the detriment
of the principle that should drive it. For example: Christian sexual ethics are
rooted (at least in part) in a belief in the sacramental nature of marital
sexual intimacy. But we've made such a pillar of premarital chastity that it
has now skewed our sexual ethic to the point that its sacramental nature has
been subsumed into a flat statement on abstinence, all while reinforcing
harmful and even hateful ideas about human sexuality in the name of “purity.”[15]
Outliers might mistakenly receive
the label “relativists” because it seems as if we are disaffirming truth.[16]
In actuality, they disaffirm universal implementation that is divorced of
nuance, a nuance that seeks to accommodate experience. The reality is that outliers
attempt to show respect to people who have different ideologies than they. This
is one of the greatest desires of the outlier: to live and let live. They show this
respect in contrast to their past in evangelicalism, hoping to receive the same
in return.
Jersak’s thoughts, in combination
with the responses of Raul and Ellen, help us find the outlier assumptions,
beliefs and values concerning the idea of relativism vs. authentic faith. The
outlier begins with the assumption that authenticity, not quite realized in
their evangelical past, is of great import and essential to a true Christian
faith. They come to believe that an authentic faith is one that deeply reflects
and takes into account doubt and frustration as much as hopefulness and love. This
belief springs to life when outliers realize they can practice the value of an
authentic faith, one that is always “questioning and seeking new inputs”, not
to alienate themselves from Christ but to deepen their faith in Him.
Therefore, if the outlier truly
practices the value of an authentic faith, the term relativism is not
appropriate as a descriptor. Like the evangelical, the ultimate destination of
an outlier is to know God more fully. It is the road taken that differs; one
that is often long and winding and harder to tread. But surely the destination
is Christ. Jim’s statement bears repeating: “I hope to live as required: To act
justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with my God. Though I now
walk an uncertain path - wide or narrow, I don't know - like Jacob, I walk with
a limp.”[17]
Concern: Tolerance or Respect?
Another concern of evangelicals is the idea of tolerance:
the passive acceptance of people and their varying beliefs. It is a broad term,
closely related to relativism. Like relativism, it is applied to outliers
erroneously. The love of Christ houses neither tolerance nor the tough love often
advocated by evangelicals. As Jim states:
Tolerance
= Passive. Passive ≠ Love. We are called to actively, selflessly,
radically love. Unfortunately, we're stuck on this binary between
tolerance and tough love -- neither of which is actually loving.
Even worse, we aim our misguided love at the wrong people. Jesus
was actively compassionate toward the lost and saved his "toughness"
for those "in the fold". We, instead, practice our toughness
toward the lost and often reserve our wrongful-tolerance for those in the
church. All of this misses the greater point of how we should interact
with the world - saved and unsaved alike. We ought to be engaged in the
world and engaged in such a way that is glorifying to God and allows
our light to shine before others, that they may “see your good deeds
and glorify your Father in heaven.” None of that sounds like bland tolerance or
disengaged toughness.[18]
Raul concurs with Jim’s
assessment. Rather than simply putting up with people, Christians are called to
have a real and true love for others.
We're
supposed to love our enemies, not tolerate them. We're supposed to show
kindness to people who oppose us, not pretend they're actually just as right as
we are. I can't think of any model in the Bible for coexisting with
non-believers, or those who are hostile to the faith, that centers around the
sort of begrudging, falsely-long-suffering attitude of acceptance that
"tolerance" seems to me to imply. Actual acceptance, not necessarily
of other beliefs or practices, but of people, sounds to me much more
like what Jesus would want from us. I can disagree with someone, and even think
they're engaging in harmful life choices, without categorizing them as someone
who needs to be tolerated instead of accepted. And I can retain an open mindset
toward alternative ideas, and strive for humility about even the dogma I do
hold, without having to pretend that everyone is equally right and there are
"no absolutes". That, I think, is what conservative evangelicals
mistake for wishy-washy, morally-soft "tolerance".
Tolerance
is gross. It's a bare-minimum of decency, only one level above hostility or
animosity. Christians need to strive for the higher and nobler practices of
acceptance and compassion, even toward people we think are wrong or evil.[19]
To
label outliers as “tolerant” is inaccurate. Tolerance implies a degree of
acquiescence to a particular philosophy or worldview that runs counter to the
biblical model and to the character of God.[20]
Outliers are very aware of this as Jim and Raul have indicated. Once again, the
issue comes down to showing respect. The outlier is attempting to show people
the true love of Christ, even though they hold disparate ideologies.
Respectfulness is accomplished by empathizing with people and acknowledging
their notions and ideas for what they are, not conceding that they are true.
The outlier’s attempt at respectfulness is not about ideology – it’s about
people. Like the issue with relativism, the outlier’s demonstration of respect
stems from what they lacked in the evangelical expression of faith. Ellen’s
story demonstrates this lack:
The first
time I ever went to a church leader to discuss what I believed to be a valid
difference of opinion, I was 17. The lady first prayed over me that Satan would
no longer tempt me to fall away into doubt, then proceeded to tell me I would
understand the Bible better as I grew older, and for now I needed to trust my
spiritual leaders for what God has shown them to be true. To this day, my mom
asks me not to disagree with people in our church when I'm home, because she
doesn't like it when people view me as a wayward Christian.[21]
In Ellen’s story we find the
outlier assumptions, beliefs and values concerning the idea of tolerance vs.
love. The outlier begins with the assumption that empathy and respect are among
the highest ways of communicating value and validation to a person. This
assumption comes from something lacking in their evangelical past. They come to
believe that an authentic faith is one that demonstrates the love of Christ
through empathy and respectfulness. They demonstrate this value by engaging the
people with beliefs different or even opposed to their own, by giving respect
to the person – not necessarily the ideology – in order to show the love of
Christ.
Ministry Difficulties
Preston Sprinkle states, “Many de-churched
millennials were hungering for Jesus and didn’t find Him in the church.”[22]This statement is indicative of the outlier mindset and is the starting
point for ministry to outliers. Sprinkle goes on to say:
They
longed for rich, intense, honest community. They wanted to love their neighbor
and enemy alike. They didn’t understand why 5% of church budgets (at best) went
to help the poor when Jesus said to give it all away. Actually, they wanted more Bible, more depth, and
more substance than what they were being fed.[23]
An effective ministry toward outliers must take this
into account. But ministry is inherently difficult, more so for the minister to
outliers. Whether it is aesthetic taste, philosophical dissonance, or outright abuse,
an outlier’s past must be accommodated and worked-through to assist them in finding
the God they so desire.
To
begin, we talk about the aesthetics of evangelicalism. Ministry toward the
outlier is hindered if the aesthetics are too similar to those of their past. As
Jim explains:
Aesthetics
betray belief. They are often the messages we send when we aren't
intending to send a message. Obviously, this leaves the door wide open to
miscommunication or bad communication. The space between what something
is and what it appears to be is already thin; we blur it at our own peril.[24]
Often, aesthetics are the thing that causes
dissonance with the Christian faith for younger people. A person born too late
to be of the modern ilk has a naturally different aesthetic than that of older
generations. If the dissonance is too great between the institution and the
individual, the individual will become disconnected with the Church and, if
left unchecked, Christ himself. Raul states:
Admitting
that I am an outlier and making that part of my identify helps undermine the
vague but unshakeable feeling that I am fundamentally the wrong kind of person
to be a Christian—an idea that only became more and more concrete and
undeniable the longer I tried to fit into the Christian mainstream. Identifying
as an outlier gives me a way to stay engaged with the faith, and with other
believers, without constantly feeling broken or "unspiritual.”[25]
The aesthetic of evangelicalism can cause a young
Christian to feel as if they are “the wrong kind of Christian.” Engaging the
aesthetic of the modern could become a temptation the minister might face, but
will ultimately limit effective ministry to outliers.
Another
difficulty is the philosophical dissonance that outliers have with their
evangelical past. An example of this dissonance can be found in the application
of forms of corporate worship, as described by Raul:
[There is
an] overemphasis on emotional factors, emotionally-driven group behavior, and
social demonstrations of allegiance or enthusiasm. Many of the environmental
factors and expected outward expressions of evangelical faith place a high
burden on introverts and people who are not highly relational or who approach empathy
from a strongly analytical basis. I spent years with an ever-growing
subconscious impression that I was simply the wrong kind of person. I still
have to engage in frequent self-talk to deal with the guilt and anxiety
produced by my inability to match the model imposed by the cultural assumptions
of the evangelical church. Examples: singing passionate songs with hands
upraised, defining Christianity in terms of a relationship with a God I can't
interact with in almost any meaningful sense.[26]
While practices must align with Scripture, the
minister must wrestle with issues such as these and strive to accommodate the
needs of outliers whenever possible.
Finally, the most difficult issue
a minister will face are the scars of legitimate emotional, physical, and
spiritual harm in the lives of outliers. Ellen has been party to some of this kind
of hurt. She agreed to share some of those things:
I
recognize that my experiences are more of the extreme, but that is because I
grew up in extreme churches. So I view some of these events as more specific
than overarchingly true.
1. A mental health prosperity gospel that says Christianity cures mental illness and that if you're a Christian you can't be depressed without sin. When I was 15 my own pastor at the time told me point blank that God couldn't love me because I was living a "lifestyle of depression" and I had brought my mental turmoil on myself by keeping sin in my heart.
2. An attitude of maintaining image above all else. I can think of at least 4-5 instances of blatant sexual abuse that were brought to the attention of various pastors of friends and people in church leadership positions that were "dealt with" in house and never reported go this day.
3. A spirit of alarmism. In 2010 one of my friend’s parents offhandedly told her they would never be ok with a gay child. She was a youth group leader and also happened to be a closeted bisexual. She thought her family and God would reject her for something she felt she couldn't help. She killed herself a few days later.
1. A mental health prosperity gospel that says Christianity cures mental illness and that if you're a Christian you can't be depressed without sin. When I was 15 my own pastor at the time told me point blank that God couldn't love me because I was living a "lifestyle of depression" and I had brought my mental turmoil on myself by keeping sin in my heart.
2. An attitude of maintaining image above all else. I can think of at least 4-5 instances of blatant sexual abuse that were brought to the attention of various pastors of friends and people in church leadership positions that were "dealt with" in house and never reported go this day.
3. A spirit of alarmism. In 2010 one of my friend’s parents offhandedly told her they would never be ok with a gay child. She was a youth group leader and also happened to be a closeted bisexual. She thought her family and God would reject her for something she felt she couldn't help. She killed herself a few days later.
Though these are indeed specific events they are
sadly par for the course in the stories of outliers. Ministers will encounter
people who have experienced this level of hurt and this level of tragedy. It is
up to the ministers of outliers to remain deep in God’s Scripture, respectful
and empathetic towards people, and above all, reliant on the Holy Spirit to
know how to show compassion to this diverse group of young people.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
[2] Preston
Sprinkle, “Why Are Millennials Leaving the Church?” Patheos, Published 9/16/2015, http://www.patheos.com/blogs/theologyintheraw/2015/09/why-are-millennials-leaving-the-church-in-droves-part-1/
[5] Rod
Dreher, “Confessions of an Ex-Evangelical, Pro-SSM Millennial,” The American Conservative, Published February 27, 2014, 8:27 AM
http://www.theamericanconservative.com/dreher/ex-evangelical-pro-gay-millennial.
[6] Interview
with Sam Conducted 10/20/2015 9pm-11pm.
[14] Brad Jersak, A More Christlike God, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform;
1 edition, April 21, 2015.
[16] Rob Schwarzwalder, “Which One of
These Reasons is Really Why Millennials are Leaving the Church?: Reason 5, Charisma News, Published 4/24/2014,
http://www.charismanews.com/opinion/43603-which-one-of-these-8-reasons-is-really-why-millennials-are-leaving-the-church
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